


We Can Learn To Love Again

by Asmodeus



Category: Iron Man - Mixed Media, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Minor Iron Man 3 Spoilers, Mistakes, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 12:55:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asmodeus/pseuds/Asmodeus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both knew that something was up. Both of them though, refused to talk about it. One just staring out the window every night, their eyes gazing out on the lights of New York until he collapsed from absolute exhaustion. The other curled up on the bed, refusing to talk to him as he did, his eyes half-lidded as he would regret the night to come.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Can Learn To Love Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [plastic_cello](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plastic_cello/gifts).



They both knew that something was up. Both of them though, refused to talk about it. One just staring out the window every night, their eyes gazing out on the lights of New York until he collapsed from absolute exhaustion. The other curled up on the bed, refusing to talk to him as he did, his eyes half-lidded as he would regret the night to come.

They had begun to drift apart most likely three months ago. He had caught him one night coming out from a gala, a regular occurrence for Tony, but his green eyes dropped down to beside him, a young woman attached to his arm as the genius smiled down at her, just like he did when Loki himself decided to do so. Since that night, Loki had felt increasingly more and more uncomfortable around Tony. He felt at unease, unsure of whether Tony was cheating on him or not, though he knew that if Tony ever cheated, he would know the consequences. 

He didn't know why Tony had made the decision to do so though, and part of him loathed the fact that he didn't know the reason at all. It had been Tony who had confronted him the day that Odin sent him back to Midgard, another guardian and warrior for Midgard who would have the least protection from whatever else was out there and after it after they put themselves back on the map for strength against invaders. He had cornered him and confessed his feelings to him, the words falling from the mortals lips almost completely confusing the mischief god. The confession of love catching Loki by surprise, but when Tony had explained it all, it became so much clearer to Loki as well, that the two would understand each other almost too perfectly for words, and that they would work, that they would make it work.

Loki knew that Tony wasn't perfect. No mortal would ever come to that point in their lives. He knew that Tony's life was not all glamor and glory, that he had dealt with things that haunted him, that he was running from truths that he didn't want to face yet at all. Loki felt the same with his own life, but Tony's seemed to be creeping up on him now, haunting him every second of his day. He zoned out here and there, his eyes glazing over before the mortal shook his head and thoughts cleared away and he continued talking about whatever babble he had started to fill in the blanks of their relationship. 

He sighed all the time before he tended to drop down into a chair and flick through files on his tablet at the table, pointless directs to try and find something to pass his time with. He appeared to want to try and solve something, but nothing he could think of was working to do so. The days that Banner even came over, the doctor, he could pick up something was wrong with the mechanic, but not even he could pin point it, knowing that Tony had gone through a rough time right after the events of New York and the Chitauri. He had finally went through with removing the shrapnel from his chest and removing the arc reactor in hopes of moving on in his life. It had worked to a point, he had moved on for a while, though Pepper and him had decided to part ways in their relationship and just be friends, he was fine. He continued with his tinkering, with Ironman, and with being himself. It was all still normal.

He was starting to worry though, his green eyes glancing back and forth from the engineer who sat on the couch that day, a tumbler of scotch in one hand, a tablet in the other. He had retreated to the confines of his work shop a few levels below for a couple of days and had just surfaced, the bags under his eyes a sure sign that he had worked constantly on something or another. Not a drop of sleep seemed to ever come out of being down there, and it was driving Tony further and further into whatever rut he currently was in, whatever was driving his mind into this rut.

He put the tumbler down on the counter and carded his fingers into his hair as he leaned his head off of this arm now, his eyes fluttering closed as exhaustion was starting to overtake it all. Loki let himself walk closer to Tony now, his fingers hovering just portions of an inch from his shoulder before he withdrew back when Tony sat himself up fully again. The man stood up, placed the tablet down on the counter with him empty tumbler and turned around, face to face with Loki now, his lover, the person who he had promised himself to the moment that they decided to be something.

“I'm.. going to bed now.” Loki glanced back at the clock, it was barely six o'clock that evening, Tony having only had his scotch as well that night for anything to eat or drink. It was nothing passable in anyone’s books, and Banner had instructed Loki to at least try and get Tony to eat something decent once a day. So he swallowed his hesitation after Tony started to walk away to their bedroom, a hand slipping around the bicep of Tony's arm to hold him there.

“Allow me to make you something to eat before you do, Anthony.” He was surprised he managed to keep his voice from shaking, the worry showing through his actions for the man he never knew he loved until Tony had proven to each other that they really do. He guided Tony back down to his seat and left him there, his fingers lingering on his arm a bit before he walked over to the fridge to gather things to make a simple sandwich. It would be better than sending him to bed with nothing but scotch in his system.

Tony sat in silence, not agreeing to eat whatever he was making, but also he didn't get up and just leave, knowing that this was a step towards getting to where the two use to be, where they were in the peak of their love. He was barely managing to stay awake though, his eyes fluttering closed then back open as he tried to stay focused to watch his lover work around the kitchen. When a sandwich was placed before him though, he smiled weakly towards the raven-haired man in front of him. “Thanks,” he whispered before his head dropped to the counter beside the plate.

“Anthony!” He rushed to the other side of the counter in a heart beat, his heart racing faster than he could imagine it could, nothing but worry and concerns surfacing in his mind as thoughts, the different things that Banner had not picked up in his actions and body when he had checked him last. He didn't know what was going on at all, but he would soon enough know he hoped. He let his arms wrap around Tony's waist lightly before he demanded to know what was wrong with Tony from JARVIS.

The AI responded that simply his master was over exhausted. He had barely managed to get a months worth of sleep in the past three months that had gone by, his body now on overdrive and shutting down to try and repair and reboot anything they needed to. JARVIS's simple suggestion was to bring him to the hospital where he could get the rest and the treatment that he needed there. What got Loki though was that he didn't know what had been driving Tony to this. But he sighed and nodded, grabbing his coat and pulling it over Tony as he teleported them both to the back entrance to the nearest hospital, stopping the first nurse or doctor to run by.

“He needs a room, and as soon as you can get him one,” he snarled, though the worry was running clearer through his tone than the anger and threat he had hoped to portray. The nurse blinked and looked at Tony in his arms, obviously unsure of what was going on. Loki opened his mouth to respond, but hesitated to reply before he did. “He's been lacking sleep for the last three months. He'd stay awake past myself, then awake much before myself as well, unless he didn't sleep at night at all.” He opted to leave the fact out that he was malnourished at the moment, and most likely dehydrated as well as he handed over Tony onto the nearest stretcher and he was wheeled away into a room, leaving Loki to his thoughts out in the reception room.

Soon enough though, he walked out the doors and teleported himself immediately back to the tower, throwing his jacket onto a chair and stripping himself of his clothes as he walked into the shower, turning on the water to his lukewarm cold temperature, one that JARVIS had programmed in to allow Loki to get it perfect every time. He dropped down though, allowing himself to sit on the small seat of a ledge that Tony enjoyed having in there for reasons that they hadn't spoken about just yet. He let his own eyes slide closed at this point though, his thoughts wandering at the speed of light around everything that had been going on. He leaned his head back to let the water run directly onto his face and slip down his body in streams that waterfall-ed off his elbows and other joints as he reached up in a stretch.

“Jarvis, I wish to know everything that has been happening with Tony in the past five months,” he stated, not even bothering to clean himself in the shower, the water enough at that point to relax him enough to listen to JARVIS as he began reciting off things that had happened. It started simple and quite normal, Loki having known everything and everywhere that Tony went and did. Then, the night of the gala came up, and JARVIS hit a blank in his archives, saying that his master had deleted everything from that night from his records, never wanting to see them again or hear about them from anyone. Since then though, Tony had not attended a single gala or event, his actions purely revolved around working on a project that had no proper name yet in his work shop. He never slept while he was down there, and every night when he did manage to fall asleep though, he awoke with a start at roughly 4:25 am, glancing down at Loki before he slipped out of bed to go shower and clean himself as thoroughly as he could.

Loki opened his eyes to slits as he stood up in the shower now, one arm bracing himself against the wall of it before he demanded that the water be turned off. It was now close to nine in the evening, having spent two hours just listening to the records that JARVIS kept of Tony. He yawned, as much as he wanted to stifle it, and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist as he walked into the bedroom, glancing down at the empty bed with a soft sigh now. He would have to sleep alone that night, something that he had not done in months now, usually accompanying Tony on whatever trip he had to take.

Right as he was about to slip under the sheets though, JARVIS asked him if he'd like to hear anything that his master had muttered in his sleep on the nights he could barely sleep. Wide-eyed, Loki nodded and agreed to hear everything that JARVIS had on record after the deleted information. He leaned back against the headboard to the bed as he listened to JARVIS play clip after clip of Tony muttering, simple words to understood, but by the end of all the clips, Loki could feel the tears running down his cheeks, his hands coming up to cover his face in shame that he had not been awake to help comfort Tony through any of this, to reassure him that everything was okay.

 

“ _I'm sorry, Loki...I didn't...I didn't know..._ ”

 

* * *

 

Loki spent the next three days until Tony's release from the hospital in complete silence in the house, his mind trying to decide on what he should do when Tony, his love, returned from the hospital. He had spent hours pacing the main length of the hall in the tower before he had simply asked JARVIS what the purpose of Tony's newest invention would be, which was answered with a curt “to find and nullify magic in a being”. It left Loki wide eyed and even more in a dizzying state before he dropped down to the sofa and closed his eyes. It was tougher than he had though, but surprising, when he figured out a few different scenarios that could have come to pass that Tony would want to do this.

When Tony walked in the front door though and looked up to see Loki standing by the elevator waiting for him, he was surprised to say the least, part of him wanting to flinch back and run. He still hadn't righted his wrongs that he had done and there was nothing he wanted to do with Loki until he could prevent it from ever happening again. He had held off and not touched Loki for three months, afraid that his life was all a lie at that moment, his paranoia and fears surfacing every time that he thought he would do something, then his carefully built up relationship would come crumbling down around him, preventing him from ever having a happily ever after like all the other heroes in stories seemed to have. He wanted his, but he wanted his with Loki now, and only Loki.

When Loki began to take steps towards Tony, he froze, and waited for the god to reach him, the cold hands resting lightly on his lower arms before he rested his forehead against Tony's, eyes dropping closed as he exhaled softly, happy that his Tony was alright, he was in one piece, and nothing happened. In his silent moment though, Tony placed his hands over his face, stifling tears and shaking as he tried to control himself. The god withdrew back and looked down at him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pulling him close against him as Tony shuddered out an apology, over and over, repeated until the shirt that Loki wore that day was wet with his tears, and the mortal had cried himself out, his form now heavy with exhaustion even though he had just arrived home.

He pulled Tony a bit away from him and looked down at him as he pulled his hands away from his face and smiled down at him just gently. “What are you sorry for, love?” he asked, finally facing his fears and Tony's all at once as the brunette froze a bit under his touch, then the shaking started again as he opened his mouth to speak. From there, the truth was placed before them both.

The night of the gala, another magic user had attended. It was a young woman that Tony didn't recognize until the morning when the spell he was put under wore off. It wasn't ever meant to be anything harmful, she had informed him later, it was just that he seemed a bit down that evening, and wanted to cheer him up by placing a spell on him to make her the one he wanted to see the most at that moment. It had just turned out to be Loki in that situation, and so, with a bit more alcohol in his system than there should have been, he had taken her to a hotel and spent the night with her. By morning though, he had regretted it beyond all belief, having cheated on Loki and now feared that the one in his tower was the same as the spell, just that the spell was never broken in the tower and he was cheating on Loki every day. It kept him up every night, afraid that if he went to sleep, he'd wake up and that Loki would be someone else, or that he would have slept with someone else.

As these words fell on Loki's ears, it all rang too true, understanding the way Tony had been acting and why he wanted to build a machine like the one he had. Tony then spoke up about his machine, saying it was complete, but he wanted to secretly use it on Loki to assure that it was him, resume their relationship when he knew it was, and let the whole event pass as a mistake he would never speak of again. Though, the exhaust had hit him too quickly before he did, leaving their situation a little more worked up than it should have been. Loki smiled softly though and tilted the mechanics chin up, gently placing a chaste kiss to his lips before he pulled back.

“Then use this machine of yours to prove that I am your Loki, and your Loki alone.”

He was brought down to the lab after that, Tony pulling out the machine and placing it in front of Loki, explaining to him how it worked. The god nodded softly as he did, and when requested to perform some magic to assure that it blocked it, he agreed without retort, and summoned simple green flames in the palm of his hand, playing with the form of it as Tony turned on the machine, and allowed it to do its work. After a few clicks of pieces working, the flame in Loki's hand blinked out all of a sudden, the look on Loki's face a bit of a surprised one. He attempted to summon the flame again and again but simply couldn't. He still had his magic deep inside of him, but couldn't call it forth. He chuckled softly and looked at Tony before he whispered, “Satisfied?”

The machine was flicked off before he walked over to Loki and wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down to face him, a genuine smile on his lips before he pressed them against Loki's, parting them readily as Loki didn't mince his actions in any way, tongue slipping into Tonys' mouth before he lifted Tony into his arms, not breaking the contact of the kiss. He wanted this, _needed_ this back. He had needed Tony with him again.

By the time that Loki made it to his destination with Tony in his arms, he droped Tony onto the bed, both their lips red and kiss swollen as they hadn't broken apart since the work shop floors below. They both know where this is going, having been months away from each other even if they spent day after day of them together in the tower. Tony started by slipping his shirt off, the scar from the arc reactor still present, forever there now as a memory of the hardships he had passed. Loki had always congratulated him for moving on, kissing the scar tenderly as he leaned over the mortal on his bed, shifting around to his his collar bone and up his neck before he broke the contact for a second, Tony pulling Loki's shirt over his head to lessen the space between them again. Even clothes were too much between the two as they undid each others pants and belts, slipping them down their bodies, Loki having the need to pull Tony up a bit to slide them past his hips, then pulled them off.

Tony made simple work of Loki's own pants, still in awe over the fact the god seemed to have this vendetta against underwear that he never wore, so he allowed his fingers to lightly graze themselves over the sensitive skin above the base, sending shivers through the god, missing this feeling. He grew impatient himself and swiped down the boxers that Tony wore, magic shimmering them away before he leaned forward to let their lips meet again, a hand sliding down Tony's torso as he closed his eyes, letting his hand rest on the mortals hip before he shifted their legs, hand dropping between Tony's as he tenderly stroked him for a second, soft moans escaping from the kiss. He pulled back, allowing Tony to breathe before he starting kissing his neck and collar bone again, his hand slipping down to between his cheeks, slick fingers grazing over his entrance before he slipped one in, the gasp and groan from Tony a sign that it had indeed been a while, his body needing it just as much as Loki's did.

Tony's breaths came in short pants as he felt Loki working him, finger in and out before a second slid in beside it, that comfortable pinch of pain before he let out his held breath into a moan in the air between them, feeling Loki's lips turn into a smile, possibly a smirk, against his stomach now. When the third finger slid in, he let out a soft hiss of pain, stopping Loki in his movements before he allowed Tony to be hurt. It wasn't much until he was allowed to move again, but he never wanted to hurt Tony again, so when he started thrusting his fingers in again, it was slow, yet hard, pulling moans from the mortals lips like it was his job to do so. When he picked up pace, Tony's hands dropped down to mingle and tangle into the sleek raven-hair, holding it tight before Loki pulled his fingers out, slicking himself up as he seen Tony prepared enough.

He shifted up on Tony with a soft smile before he pressed his cock against his entrance, pushing in in a slow motion, a groan escaping both of their lips with a satisfied smile on both as well. The pace he set right off the bat is something almost slow and torturous, the pleas from Tony's mouth for him to give him more don't take long, though Loki didn't want to ruin anything by making the mortal under him finish so quickly. He kept the pace slow, the force behind them more so though as he himself was in need of more contact and movement, and then he answered Tony's pleas, moans of “yes!” and “oh god!” falling from his lips now as the both of them were brought closer to their edges.

One slim pale hand grabbed Tony's knee though, and pushed it a bit further up as Tony grabbed onto the sheets around him instead, almost a scream on his lips as the angle changes and Loki was just so close to bringing him to completion, not even needing to hit his prostate. Though Loki did, sending a scream of pleasure through Tony as he climaxed, clenching around Loki as his pace faltered just a bit before his own climax overtook him, not stopping until the pleasure is almost pain on them both. He pulled out before he dropped down beside Tony, pulling the panting and exhausted human against his chest as he calmed him down from the high to allow him to sleep, something that Tony still needed after three days of rest and nothing but.

Loki looked down on him with softened eyes though, the pleasure still strumming through them both. He smiled before he closed his eyes as well, refusing to let Tony go in his sleep. He knew that not everything was solved between the two of them, but at the moment, he wasn't going to jeopardize their current placement on the bed. It could wait until morning, where they'd sort everything out, and they could pick up their broken pieces and straighten them out. 

 

“ _Good night, Anthony._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Title from P!NK's "Just Give Me A Reason" which was playing on infinite repeat as I wrote this. It set a good mood.  
> Choppy, I know, but it just flowed from me like this and I think it turned out really well.  
> And yes, my tenses jump depending on the situation in this, but suck it up. c:  
> [I tried to check and make sure I didn't miss any in my first check. Lets hope!]


End file.
